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Therese of Lisieux.

While out for drinks, the author and her date performed two exercises: Certainly these are important components of romantically falling in love, but they are also important components of good relationships in general—holy, loving, friendships of which marriage is a unique kind.

She captures the subjective experience—the uncomfortable lookint of not being able to escape the gaze of.

Recently, I came across a YouTube video see above that captures the same experience note in particular the elderly couple and the African American couple. Averted eye glances can, in certain cultures and contexts, create feelings of alienation, rejection, and isolation.

I have had this experience with strangers in clinical training seminars as well as with clients in therapy. It is a deeply vulnerable and revealing feeling—uncomfortable, lookking, but in my experience also an experience for which I deeply longed.

The African American husband in the looking for someone to experiment with notes that he enjoyed the chance to just look at his wife without having to talk about work or situations or life problems—just look. As we sit with Jesus and experience being gazed at and gazing at Him, we will, as we try to simply look closely at Him, realize how much we need Him and how much He means to us. The witj by Therese at the start of this article captures something of the ability of a gaze to create intimacy.

Therese gazes at Heaven and allows Heaven to gaze at. She looks deeply into the eyes of our Lord and allows Him to look deeply into her eyes—and in that gaze she has a foretaste Heaven.

What was it like? What is uncomfortable about it? What is nice about it?

Does the experience change as time goes on? This article originally appeared on PsychedCatholic and is republished with permission.

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