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Agriculture Online Talk

There it was, right there on my Instagram feed. Yes, the idea of not needing a man was once an empowering, necessary message in its specific context of financial autonomy.

The need for love.

If a woman declares her need for purposeful work, close friendships, creative pursuits, money, sex, more sleep, adventure. She might be encouraged neeeing take some alone time and learn how to make herself happy. The message is clear: Read more: This myopic view of independence pathologizes romantic love for heterosexual women.

Same old flavor, brand new look! Side note: Of course, not every woman needs deep, committed intimacy and romantic partnership, but for jan ones who do, feeling balanced can be a tremendous and tremendously unnecessary struggle.

I guess I need more hobbies. I think about getting married and starting a family a lot—all the time actually.

What kind of dad he might be, that kind of thing. And then comes some version of a shame statement parade: Love is natural, healthy, beautiful and, perhaps above all, liberating. The need for love is also all of these things.

How can you tell when a connection becomes toxic? Very simply, healthy love feels good. Contact us at editors time.

Getty Images. By Katherine Schafler March 22, And who exactly is paying this emotional tax?

Heterosexual women. Motto welcomes outside contributions.

Opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect the views of TIME editors. Related Stories.